Peace Out, Superwoman

In the heart of every woman, is the desire to be.. well.. superwoman.

 From the time we are young teenagers we envision the ways in which the men in our lives will look at us and say, "Wow. She has it all. Beauty, brains, health, strength, dignity...She rocks." Yes, too bad superwoman doesn't exist and half the women don't realize it, including me.
I can no longer uphold this false reality that I have it all together and that I'm strong, because in all reality, i'm not. I so badly wish to be that woman that isn't, ooh it's so hard to say, weak. No woman wants that image of being a helpless and conflicted person. We want to be bold, happy, please everyone and have everything in our lives stored in perfect little boxes.
 God has shown me through SO many things this year that I will never be that woman.
Not because I couldn't be, but because I was never intended to be. That's the beauty of God's grace. My identity is not found in the amount of activities I can juggle, emotions I can mask like a pro, faith I can have, wisdom I can acquire, strength I can have in times of despair, or deeds I can tell people about.
 In fact, I feel like God has counteracted all of them.

1. When I try and juggle too many things at once, I break down and ball like a baby over my stress level and bite everyone's head off when they bother me.
2. In attempt to mask my emotions, I bottle them up, and end up cursing and crying over something stupid like stubbing my toe... in front of people.
3. In times of despair, I've been known to blame God and yell, scream and cry at Him, begging Him to take it away.

Sorry self, I'm disappointed to say this superwoman doesn't exist.

When I attempt to find my identity in myself and what I can do well, I end up feeling defeated, worthless and completely useless.

I constantly am reminded that my identity is found in the man much greater that I. One who looked down on me in my most helpless, disgusting state and said "I have come to give you life, and have it to the full." Haha. Me? The whiny cry baby who mopes around when things don't go my way AND blames this "giver of life?" Yes, her.

My Identity is found in that when I was still completely in the dark in sin, Christ died for me, knowing full well the flaws I would have and the mistakes I would make. My identity is hidden in Christ, because HE makes me whole, HE is all that I am not and all that I can never be. His grace covers my shame, guilt and insufficiency and He clothes me with strength.

Thank you Jesus, for taking me and my dopy self, saving, restoring and healing me, and leading me through these somewhat difficult processes of discovering its not about me, but its all about you.